i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
