Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You dont lie about slip and slides
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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