Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
