well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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