My sheets look like a crime scene.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Michael Bay diarrhea
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
