found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
