i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
