Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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