he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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