You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize