I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
