There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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