So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
