My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
