you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize