do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
