He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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