My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
