she woke up with a sticky ear
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize