i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize