okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
