I bet he comes in French.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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