margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
