And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
