Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
