I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
