I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
