Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Are we still banned from the library?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
