Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My hand turned me down
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
operation harelip BJ is a go
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
