Me. At least after what I've been through.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
