it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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