Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize