There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize