even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize