covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
