So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
