Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
