I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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