You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize