WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i barfeds in our rink
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
