Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize