Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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