She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
