my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
