I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
