everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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