im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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