why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
