Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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