You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I understand Curling. That high.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
