I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
