Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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