and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
