it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
