I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
