what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Randomize
