so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
