Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I booty called her while she was in labor.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
