You're a womanizer and a bitch.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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