waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
