Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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