I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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