Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
