fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
