bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize